Sometimes I'm not honest to other people about how I feel... could be about anything really. Why? Well, I tell myself that if I were honest, any one of those situations could become a bit uncomfortable—but who would be uncomfortable? Me or them? Maybe both of us... Really, I am only doing myself a disservice by thinking I am "pleasing" someone else by telling them what I think they want to hear. Number one, I don't actually know what they want to hear. Number two, I end up suppressing my true self, whoever she is... because let's be honest, I still don't know. Being honest about how we're feeling would save everyone so much time! Time feeling anxious about what they're thinking or time spent in the wrong relationship because you wanted to spare their feelings. It only hurts worse when the truth comes out, because knowing you or someone else didn't have the courage to tell the truth feels like a low blow.

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I'm scared of a negative reaction to my honesty. I often feel overly sensitive to how I am percieved by others... so a negative reaction would impact me... well—negatively. But it is not the other persons fault that I am sensitive, they don't desereve to be lied to becuase of my own discomfort. And how will I learn to become competent in dealing with aversion if I never give myself the opportunity? It's not that I want to be disliked by any means, but if I am to be disliked, I'd rather it be for who I am, not for who I'm trying to be. So this week, I tell myself, being honest about how I'm feeling is staying true to myself.